I love this quote from author Jonathan Mead: “Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem.”
Why? Because it offers an approach to what we can do about problems that appear too big to solve, and therefore beyond our ability to make a difference. Huh?
What We Focus on Grows
How could you be participating in a problem that seems impossible to impact? Well, what we focus on grows. And that’s true whether we want it to grow or not. Here are just a few ways we can unintentionally feed a problem when we really want it to stop:
- Complaining
- Criticizing
- Judging
- Arguing
- Worrying
No kidding. Every time we complain about a problem, we are feeding it just by giving it our attention. Find this hard to believe?
Well, try this: Pick a problem and head to the Internet, the television, or the radio to learn more about it. Chances are, if you are focusing on the problem, it will feel bigger and bigger, and you will feel worse and worse the longer you do this little experiment.
Adding to the Problem’s Negative Energy
The problem is feeding you its negative energy, and you are returning that negativity with interest. When this happens, we participate in the problem, whether we are intending to or not.
Now, if instead you’d just set the problem aside, it might have bugged you for a while, but most likely, you would have found something else on which to focus. And, while you might have found another problem to feed, you wouldn’t be feeding this first one.
The same dynamic applies when we pay attention to someone’s behavior we don’t like or worry about other people and their “problems.” Unintentionally, we feed the very thing we worry about.
Focusing on Solutions is Most Helpful
While the most helpful approach to problems is to focus on solutions and feed those, the truth is, sometimes we just can’t do that. Sometimes holding space for the positive is just more than we can muster energetically right this minute, or hour, or day.
That’s very real. And that’s OK. Which is exactly why I appreciate Mead’s words: “Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem.”
Sometimes turning away from a problem is the best thing we can do about it, at least for now. While it may not be a contribution to its solution, at least we’re not making it bigger. And that’s not a small thing.
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I’d love a couple of specifics. For example, does this mean you shouldn’t advocate for yourself if you received poor customer service? Or participate in conversations about the current President if you don’t care for him? Are we all contributing to his sustainability by speaking about him?
These are important questions — thanks for taking the time to comment Laurie. My Records explain that our conscious intention is key, as is focusing our energy on what we do want rather than what we don’t. So, when we get poor customer service, we ask for what we do want instead and continue focusing on that. Complaining about what went wrong and badgering the customer service representative makes things worse. As for the President, or any elected official, to clearly and respectfully disagree, and then focus on and advocate for what we believe would be better is helpful. To continually focus on what we disagree with does simply feed that. Right after the November 2016 election when the President was elected, the Records had this to say, “Both sides of the presidential race spent most of their energy railing against what they did not want. And, the end result was the election of the candidate that the majority of the popular vote did not want.” It’s the November 11, 2016 post, if you want to read the entire thing. Thank you again!
Thanks for this reminder about choice of focus, Nancy! It’s so easy for me to slide into complaining and complaining about something. Time for me to break the pattern and refocus on something more positive!
I think this is where our intention behind our words is so important. If we’re just unconsciously complaining, my Records tell me we are adding to the negativity in the world, and to the energy that feeds what we’re complaining about. On the other hand, if we consciously are talking about something with the conscious intention to clear the negative energy from ourselves, the very same words can have a positive impact rather than a negative one. Never underestimate the power of intention!