“You know, if they didn’t love you, they wouldn’t be so worried.”
Yes, I knew it was true, but the last thing I felt was loved. I believed I was loved, but the worry didn’t allow me to feel it.
Actually, the worry had me closing my heart in self-protection. The worry coming at me had me closing my heart, rather than opening it to receive – which of course was the exact opposite of the worrier’s intention with their worry.
When We Worry
But what we’re forgetting when we worry, is that worry says we are seeing the other person as small, and maybe even helpless. And the last thing I could afford to feel was helpless. Life was asking me to move into my authentic power in a big way, and helpless was not going to help.
What we don’t realize when we worry about someone, is that actually, we’re not really worried about them. Actually, we’re worried about ourselves. We’re just projecting on the other person our fear of what we would feel if we were in their situation.
So, no, we’re not helping them. We’re not loving them. Not really.
Remembering Their Strengths
What could we do instead? How can we love someone even when we’re full of our own fear?
Well, we can remember that person’s strengths. Remember their gifts. Think about all of the wonderful things they have done in their lives. Write them down, even. Make a list.
Rather than worry about someone, we can see that person as their highest and best self. We can see them through the eyes of the Divine.
And we can reflect that Divine knowing back at that person. We don’t even need to say anything to do it.
We can just feel their Divine gifts and talents and beam them out like the glow of a candle.
For that is love. And that is strength. And that is something that someone who is facing challenge will want to open to and feel.
And, as a reminder, that is what we mean by “holding space” – remembering someone’s highest and best, and reflecting that back to them. Especially when they’ve forgotten themselves.
When we hold space for another, we are sending them energy that will help them connect with their Divinity and live from that, perhaps when they need it most.
And, guess what? We can’t worry and hold space at the same time.
It’s just not possible.
In the process of connecting with the other’s highest and best, we connect with our own Higher Selves as well. And we don’t even need to try. It just happens.
As the saying goes, “What goes around, comes around.”
So, do yourself a favor. Look past your worries and make a list of those for whom you are going to practice holding space. Start seeing their gifts and reflect them out.
PS: These same principles hold true for countries too!
Are you curious what the Akashic Records may reveal about your life?